What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
