entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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