I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize