I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
