dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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