You're completely useless in the revolution.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
