Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just pee around me
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
