I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
