The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
