I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
