What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
