I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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