Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
be right there i have to get my cape
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
