wat bout pragnant strippers??
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
