Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
zippers are such a cool invention
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
