trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
