i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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