wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
vagina is talking i cant
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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