I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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