Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
