i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
