Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
