i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
