I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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