you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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