I need help removing her.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
