Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
