is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
