i permit you to call me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
