Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
