It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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