just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
