Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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