Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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