The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
MIDGETS
????
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
