Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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