Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
