Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
