Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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