Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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