oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
