Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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