Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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