Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
