You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
