What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
