College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
