No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
