Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
