Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
